S&B 1st Say "I Love You"
Transcripting by Mel

Sonny (in his silk robe) is picking up Brenda's fake fur coat off the floor when she comes out of the bedroom in a towel. They kiss.
B: Have you seen my blue sweater? I thought I left it here.
S: No, I haven't seen it.
B: Well, I can't find it. I don't know where it is.
S: Well, if it were *here*, I would know where it is. But it's not.
B: (smiling suggestively) Really?
S: Really. I made fresh coffee.
B: Oh, I could have done that.
S: No, it's ok. You know... (Sonny jogs into the kitchen and hums while pouring two cups of coffee)
B: You know, I- I really don't know what to do now. I mean, I came here in this fur coat and I don't really have anything to wear. (She sits at the table, facing the kitchen.)
S: Well, there's something in the bedroom closet, kind of black, flimsy--
B: Oh, yeah, my cocktail dress. I can't just lounge around in that.
S: Well, I'll tell you what. If, uh, you want, just go ahead to the trunk of your car--
B: No, I just cleared it out to make room for Christmas presents.
S: (comes from kitchen with 2 cups and milk and sits down at table across from Brenda) Oh.
B: This is kind of silly, don't you think?
S: Yeah. I mean, it could actually be kind of awkward if we had someplace to go.
B: I mean, that it's kind of silly the way I go back and forth from the Quartermaine's all the time.
S: (Sonny, who is beginning to look *really* uncomfortable, nods) Yeah...
B: I mean, ya know, I'm always walking around carrying my toothbrush and my deodorant and my overnight bag when I remember it. Uh, I'm spending 4 or 5 nights a week here, ya know, and it's kind of ridiculous when you think about it.
S: (Sonny just keeps picking up his coffee, drinking from it, puts it down, picks it up, etc. He does not say a word and doesn't look at her. Brenda looks at him expectantly.) Bet your coffee's getting cold.
B: Sonny? (he finally looks up at her) Why aren't I just living here?

Next scene:
B: Haven't you ever thought of us living together before?
S: Sure. Of course I have. It's a great idea.
B: Really?
S: When we're both ready, we'll discuss it. (goes back in kitchen to put milk away)
B: (she's pretty pissed) Right. (gets up and goes to bedroom door but stops before going in) You know, I really hate it when you patronize me.
S: There's a clean sweatsuit on the dresser cause if we're going to have this conversation, I can't have you dressed in that towel. It definitely puts me at a disadvantage. (Brenda opens door, goes in, and slams it shut as Sonny makes the hand motion of slamming a door shut in the air.) You know, sweetheart, I'm trying to figure out where the hell this is coming from. We had a great thing going here.
B: (from inside room) I know that.
S: Well, the thought of messing with it makes me nervous. (goes back and sits at the table)
B: (comes out and sits across from Sonny. She's wearing a short t-shirt, gray sweatpants, and hooded zip-up gray sweatshirt.) I thought we had a *very* good thing going here. My question is-- going where?
S: Why can't-- it simply be what it is?
B: Sonny, I'm not suggesting marriage or anything. You *know* I'm not that domestic. I can't just date you. Not after what we went through in Puerto Rico. (Sonny nods in agreement) I've never come that close to dying before and it made me realize what is really important to me. Like *us*. And we can't just go back to the way we were before.
S: I- I- I don't want that either. We're way beyond dating.
B: Ok. I feel like (pauses) we're standing still.
S: Mm-hmm.
B: And I'm not afraid to say that us spending more time together and being closer sounds really good to me.
S: For me too, honey, ok? But *living* together is a major step.
B: I know. It- It's ok. I've never lived with a man before. I've never even wanted to live with someone before. Somehow, now, it just feels really right to me. And I thought that you would feel the same way. Am I wrong?
S: (closes his eyes and runs hand through hair before opening his eyes) *No!* Um... this, Brenda... I'm a single guy and an only child and I don't share well. And I've always been pretty funny with privacy.
B: What about Stone?! You *don't* seem to have a problem with privacy with *Stone*!
S: No-no. Stone doesn't count because he- he knows the rules. There are no expectations. I can tell him to be scarce and he will.
B: I can be scarce.
S: (groans and hits table with his hand, not scary-forcefully, but like he's trying to make a point) No, you can't. I wouldn't want you to. (They look at each other) This is where I take care of business. And Luke and I are starting up this new club and there's all kinds of stuff that I'm getting into right now and I can't--
B: I can help you with any of your stuff, Sonny. (Brenda then says something about L&B but I couldn't make it out no matter how many times I rewound the tape)
S: (he groans and wipes his face) It's-- not that stuff.
B: Obviously not. (exhales and gets up from table and sits on arm of couch) Wow. (Sonny chuckles.) I am so surprised. I really thought-- Guess I was wrong. (Sonny shrugs.) (There's a knock at the door.)
S: I'll get the door. (Goes and opens front door. It's Lois.)
L: Hi! Oh! I am *so* glad the both of you are here! We have got some major league decisions to make here. (takes off coat and hands it to Sonny)
S: Good morning Lois.
L: Oh. I'm sorry! (kisses Sonny on the cheek) Good morning! And Merry Christmas! (runs over to Brenda and kisses her on the cheek) Hi!
B: You want some coffee?
L: Oh, I would love some coffee, thank you. (Brenda gets up to get her a cup.) Ok. Here's the thing. Ned came to see me. He's taking 6 weeks off from ELQ to do the tour. 6 weeks devoted to nothing but touring and music and promoting the CD.
B: (comes back to table and smiles) And you.
L: And *all* of us. So, what do you think?
B: I think that it is exactly what you've been waiting for.
S: What's not to go for? L&B needs a tour.
L: Yeah. We do. I don't know though, you know, cause it really makes me feel kind of weird cause I don't really know what it all means.
S: Well maybe it means you're finally getting what you want (looks at Brenda then back down) and it scares you. (Brenda looks at Sonny.)
L: No, it is a *trust* thing, Sonny.
S: Well. I don't think it is a mystery after what you put him through. As a matter of fact, I can't believe he's going back for more.
L: Yeah, well, you know. It all makes me so nervous.
S: Well, just go for it, Lois. I mean, you've been dying for him to make a commitment tot the music. Now he's fallen all over himself just to please you-- (looks over at Brenda, who's been staring at him the whole time, and points at her) Would you stop that please?
B: What?! (Lois looks at Brenda, then Sonny) You know what? This is exactly what we've been waiting for. I mean we have Skenectedy (sp?) coming up and New Hampshire. We can sell a ton of CD's in 6 weeks. And, you two can spend some time together. As far as I'm concerned, that's much more important than any corporate consideration.
S: (to Brenda) That's why you're a junior partner in this company.
L: I should tell him we all agree?
S: Well, if not for you, do it for L&B.
L: All right. Yes! I am so glad I found you guys here! (hugs Brenda) I knew you would give me (hugs Sonny) some perspective. This has been great. Absolutely. (grabs jacket and stops in front of door) I mean, look at the two of you. You all cuddled up in Sonny's sweats and you all cozy in your silk robe, drinking coffee. It's just so domestic! You guys are just the cutest couple. I love you both to death. I'll see ya later! (she leaves)
B: Bye.
L: (calls from hallway) Bye!
B: Well, Ned really loves her.
S: (shrugs) I never had any doubt. (looks at Brenda)
B: He's willing to give up something he really cares about to try and make her happy.
S: They're not us, baby. (sits in chair at table across from her)
B: No. They're not.
S: Brenda, can I explain?
B: It's ok, Sonny. Subject's closed. (gets up and goes in kitchen)
S: Hmm. Ok.

Next scene:
(Sonny's dressed in a black button-up shirt and pants; Brenda's still in Sonny's sweatsuit.)
S: Don't pout.
B: Pout? That's not fair, Sonny.
S: No, what's not fair is you hitting me with the idea of living together and then give me the deep freeze when you don't get the answer you want.
B: See, I'm sitting here trying not to take this personally and respect your opinion--
S: Right.
B: I'm trying to, like, deal with the fact that I've just been (pauses) rejected, knowing I'm gonna lose in a major way, by the one man I thought really cared about me. And I just want you to know that my first instinct was to walk out of here with Lois and I didn't cause I really want so much to deal with this (exhales) like an adult. The real truth is (long pause) I feel like I've just been kicked in the stomach.

Next scene:
S: What is it you want from me, Brenda, because this-- putting us under a microscope and analyzing every move we make--
B: Right. Just go with the flow, right? That's what you always the say. Go with the flow. Because the only flow that's going on right now is me going back and forth between here and the Quartermaine's everyday.
S: I can't exactly spend a night with those rich people because they'd have heart attacks. I make it comfortable for you here, right?
B: (sarcastically) Yeah. (laughs) You- you have made it really comfortable for me here. You've given me, uh, 3 inches of closet space and, oh boy, the day you gave me that slot on the toothbrush holder. That was right. (points to her heart)
S: You want more room in the closet I can do that.
B: What I want is to be someplace where I don't feel like a visitor. You know, when I moved into the Quartermaine's it wasn't supposed to be forever. And I can take care of myself. I don't need them to take care of me.
S: You got me.
B: *I* got me! I got me to take care of myself. I am a model for Deception and I have L&B records and between those two I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And right now I am deciding it is time for me to make a move. And I wanted that move to be with you. You know, *us*. It's not a big deal. But obviously it's a big deal to you. And that's ok. (walks towards kitchen)
S: I thought I explained myself. (turns towards Brenda)
B: (turns back to face Sonny) No, you know what you explained? You explained 89 reasons why we shouldn't be together. But you forgot to mention (pauses) the most important one.
S: Which is?
B: What we have right now is enough for you because you just--
S: (shrugs) Say it.
B: You don't love me. You're just using me. (Sonny just looks at her.)

Next scene:
(These next scenes are where Sonny really begins to lose his cool but he just keeps on making excuses and saying stuff to try and shrug the whole matter off but you can tell how much he is hurting.)
S: I- I- I *take* you where you want to go. I protect you--
B: From what?
S: I don't know what else you need!
B: What- what do you want me to do?! Shut up and just be grateful for any little bit of attention you throw my way? You know what your trouble is? You've been with women your whole life who were just so thrilled to get any little bit of affection that you were willing to give them. And no one's ever asked you for anything more, have they?
S: (shrugs) Maybe more's too much.
B: Well, I have higher expectations for you.
S: Hmm.
B: And of myself and I really think that you're capable of more than that.
S: I don't know what you mean.
B: I- I- I can't- I can't- I can't just give myself to you anymore and not get anything back. And I don't even- I don't even think you realize that I don't want gifts. I don't even *want* trips. All I want is *you*! I want a piece of your heart, Sonny. I wanna be-- in your life. I can't just let you take and take and take and *take* from me anymore. (she shakes her head) I can't. I'm done as far as I'm concerned.
S: Or what?
B: I told you I'm ready to make a move. And I wanted that move to be with you. So we can be together. Or I can be on my own. But if I'm on my own, I'm going on with the rest of my life.
S: Well, uh, you know, this is sounding remarkably like an ultimatum.
B: No-- it's a choice. The only way I know I have some control over where my life is headed.
S: You can do that? You can walk just walk away from us? That easy?
B: Easy? This is breaking my heart. (They just look at each other like they are so sad and torn on what to do.)

Next scene:
S: Brenda, listen to me. What I told you before is the truth. I have a funny thing with privacy. And letting you get too, you know-
B: Close? Too intimate? Sonny, are you scared?
S: Excuse me?
B: Oh. I never even considered that. That you might be scared. (Sonny looks up and blinks his eyes really fast like he's holding back tears.) I sat and watched you get a bullet removed from your chest and you didn't even flinch. And I watched you stand up to Rivera's men, and I was really scared, but you were so strong and so brave and I knew that I was going to be ok because you were there. Sonny, you're so courageous. Are you scared of us, Sonny?
S: (does his quick head-shaking/shrug thing and goes to pour a drink) I can't- I can't handle this.
B: I'm scared of us. (gets up and stops him from pouring the drink)
S: Well?
B: I'm scared of us. I am. But when I'm with you and you have your arms around me I forget to be scared. If I didn't love you, it wouldn't hurt me so much.
S: I don't wanna hurt you.
B: I believe you. But I don't wanna sell us short. And if it means that I have to walk away from us-- (Sonny just keeps looking down at the floor and doesn't move; Brenda looks at Sonny and slowly turns around to go back in the kitchen. She bends down to pick her jacket off the floor)
S: Wait. I can't- I can't let you go. (Brenda turns back towards Sonny; he does his head shake/shrug thing again) Can't.
B: Are you sure?

Next scene:
S: (walks to where she's standing) I can't let you walk out of here, Brenda.
B: (a little excited) Are you saying you want to share everything with me?
S: (shakes his head slowly) With you? Yeah. I'll figure it out. (they hug; Brenda sighs happily and closes her eyes)
B: Do you know how much I love you?
S: I know. (they pull out of the hug but are still holding each other and look at each other)
B: (giggles; Sonny smiles) You really can't say it, can you?
S: (takes her hand and rubs the side of his face with it) How many times I gotta say it, sweetheart? (they're both smiling and giggling) It ain't the words that count; it's the actions.
B: Yeah, but sometimes, some words count a little more than others. But it's ok. (Sonny laughs) Really it is. Because what you're doing is enough for me right now.
S: I'll show you enough. (kisses her forehead, then gives her four little, passionate kisses on her mouth; he looks deep in her eyes and grins for a second) I love you, Brenda. (smiles)
B: (looks deep in his eyes) I know. (Sonny nods)