Untitled by Tammie Soler

After watching Brenda get into the car in Lily's place and blow up Sonny chose the only way he thought was possible to keep Brenda safe, he left her at the alter along with all of their hopes and dreams for a future together as well as his happiness. It was on this nite that Sonny stepped into his new life of pain, sorrow, and lonliness. Due to the loss of Brenda the Sonny who left became a mear shell of the person he once was, his heart and soul died in the church that nite with Brenda's. Sonny thought that the knowledge of Brenda's safety would allow him to move on with his life. Once again, Sonny was wrong, the pain of knowing how much he hurt Brenda was to much for him to bare. After leaving behind Port Charles and his heart Sonny disappeared while on a business trip to Puerto Rico.

This story opens almost one year after Sonny left Brenda at the alter.

Sonny has been staying at an orphanage for children in Peurto Rico. The orphanage is located near the beach Sonny and Brenda made love on during their adventures to Peurto Rico 4 yrs. before. Sonny now does odd jobs around the orphanage and often times plays with the children, this was the only time that Sonny would smile, but even then his smile seemed lost due to the sadness in his eyes. As time went on Sonny's nightmares continued to get worse and worse, after hearing from Jason that Brenda hadn't dealt well with Sonny leaving her and that she had basically gone crazy with anger, pain, and fear that Sonny was trying to have her killed, Sonny began to understand his nightmares. He felt he was having nightmares because he knew that by leaving Brenda at the alter without saying goodbye he had done the one thing he had tried so hard to avoid, he himself had killed Brenda, but in a way more cruel than any gun, bomb, or mob hit ever could...he had broke her heart and destroyed her faith and love in him.The Brenda he once loved more than his own life and had been full of love, happiness, and life had died anyway, and it was he that had killed her. During his phone call to Jason, Jason asked for Sonny's permission to tell Brenda the truth about why he had left, but Sonny refused he still felt that Brenda could be in danger and must never know the real reason why he left. After this phone call Sonny withdrew from everyone around him. He spent his days walking along the sandy beach he and Brenda had made love on and his nites dreaming of the love he had lost. Sonny was truely unable to deal with the knowledge of all the pain he had caused Brenda and became more and more depressed. Sonny's will to live sliiped further and further away with each passing day, he stopped walking along the beach, playing with the children, and barely ate anything. Sonny was trying so hard to hold on to the past that he was slowly killing himself. Due to his lack of eating Sonny was becoming very weak and fragile and slipped into a deep depression.

During Sonny's stay at the orphanage one of the nuns, Sister Theresa, had grown quite fond of Sonny and became increasingly worried that he may die. Sister Theresa had come to visit Sonny daily to bring him food and to try and get him to explain why he was so sad. She asked him why he had lost his will too live and Sonny explained his past and why because of his past he had to leave behind the one woman he ever loved in order to keep her safe. Sonny went on to explain what Jason had told him in his last phone call about what had happend to Brenda after he left and that he felt he had killed her. Sonny also told the Sister about everything Brenda had done for him and about all the times Brenda had saved his life. He said that Brenda had even offered her own blood to save his life after he had been shot and now that blood felt like a fire burning through his very soul because when she needed him more than ever before he wasn't there and when she need to be saved he just walked away. Sonny went on to explain that without Brenda his life had no meaning and no purpose for she was his life his reason to live. After hearing Sonny talk about his life and loss Sister Theresa became more concerened than before. Later that nite Sister Theresa said a special prayer for Sonny.

Sister Theresa~ Dear God, forgive me but you are the only one who can help me to save this man for his soul is lost and he no longer has the will to live, he is dying from a broken heart. Please lord, he is dying before my very eyes, you are the only one who can show me the way to help him and to take away his pain. I know that you only give us what we can bare, but Father, this man has reached his limit and can bare no more. Please show me a way to save this lost soul. Amen. The next day as Sister Theresa was heading into town for supplies she past a billboard with a beautiful woman on it with sad eyes. The very same woman she had seen on a picture by Sonny's bed and had many times seen Sonny holding in his arms with tears in his eyes. Remembering this the Sister realized that she must have been the woman Sonny had spoke of and wrote down the number from the billboard then thanked God for answering her prayers. After returning from town Sister Theresa called the number that was on the billboard and asked to speak with the model who was in the ad. she was told that the model was Brenda Barrett and that she was in Peurto Rico doing a new campaign for Jax cosmetics. The Sister explained who she was and that it was important that she speak with her. She was given the number to Brenda's hotel in Peurto Rico. The Sister hung up the phone and called Brenda at her hotel.

Sister~ Hello, is this Ms. Barrett?

Brenda~ Yes, can I help you?

Sister~ Yeah, Ms. Barrett would you have a moment to speak with me?

Brenda~ Yes.

Sister~ My name is Sister Theresa and I am a nun at an orphanage here in Peurto Rico and I have something very important I need to speak with you about. Would you be willing to meet with me in the restraunt of you hotel in an hour?

Brenda~ O.K.

Sister~ Thank you Ms. Barrett, I'll see you then.

Brenda hung up the phone and was very curios about what the Sister could possibly want to talk to her about. An hour later Brenda went down to the restraunt where Sister Theresa was waiting.

Sister Theresa~ Ms. Barrett?

Brenda~ Yes.

Sister Theresa~ Hello, Ms. Barrett, I realize you may be a bit confused as to why I asked to speak with you but I assure you it is very important.

Brenda~ O.K. What is it?

Sister Theresa~ About 1 yr. ago a young man came to my orphanage full of pain and sorrow and I'm afraid that he is going to die because he has lost his will to live. Because he lost you.

Brenda immediately knew who the Sister was talking about Sonny and was taken slightly off guard.

Brenda~ Sonny? Um... I'm sorry I have to go.

Sister Theresa~ Ms. Barrett please just a moment.

Brenda~ Alright.

Sister Theresa~ Ms. Barrett when sonny came to my orphanage he was a sad, lonely, lost man and he has just gotten worse over time it seems that the loss of your love is causing him to die from a broken heart.

Brenda~ Did Sonny tell you what he did? That he walked out on me on our wedding day? Sonny didn't lose my love he walked away from it he turned his back on it and me. He never even had the guts to say goodbye.

Sister Theresa~ Ms. Barrett, I'm sorry. Sonny told me everything and I think you really need to talk to him.

Brenda~ I'm sorry, but I can't. NO, I won't!

Sister Theresa~ Well, in case you change your mind this is where you can find him.

Sister Theresa gets up and left while Brenda sits at the table and picks up the paper with the address written on it and runs her fingers across the words written on it and a tear slowly rolls down her cheek. Brenda leaves the restraunt and goes for a walk along the beach, the same beach Sonny had walked several times during the past year. During her walk along the beach Brenda stopped and sat down watching the water and began to remember all the times her and Sonny had spent together before she knew it the sun was coming up and the next day had arrived. Brenda had come to the conclusion that she needed to know the truth why he left her and why he broke her heart. Brenda went back to her hotel room showered and changed and took a cab over to the orphanage. Once inside Brenda was told where she could find Sonny. She walked down a corodor to an open door, inside she saw Sonny leaning against the wall staring out the window and holding her picture. Brenda turned as if to walk away then went back.

Brenda~ Sonny.

Sonny~ (turns his head in disbelief) Brenda is it really you? Are you real?

Brenda~ Yeah, it's me.

Sonny~ I don't understand how did you find me?

Brenda~ Sister Theresa.

Sonny~ You're here, you're really here.

Brenda~ I'm here, for one reason, I want to know why? Why did you hurt me that way? Why weren't you there? You said you'd be there.

Sonny~ I left for you. For your safety. Do you remember that phone call you got from Davis Reece?

Brenda~ The morning of our wedding? Yes.

Sonny~ He had been hired by Rivera to kill me and you if we had been together. He came to meet me the night before the wedding and informed me that there was a contract on my life and yours once we were married. Brenda, I couldn't do it again, I refuse to watch another woman die because of me. Especially you. You are my heart, my soul, my life and I refuse to let you die because of me.

Brenda~ And?

Sonny~ And what?

Brenda~ I'm still waiting to hear why you left me that way. You said that Davis Reece told you this the night before the wedding and the phone call was well before I left. Why would you let me go through all that? Why did you promise to be there when you never intended to come? What did I ever do to you to make you do that to me?

Sonny~ Nothing, Brenda. I didn't know. I had every intention of coming I was dressed and ready to go until I looked in the mirror and flashed back to Lily's death only this time I saw you get in the car and you die. Brenda, I loved you to much to do that to you.

Brenda~ So what? You leave me standing at the alter in front of the people who love me and always said you weren't good enough for me and not show up and of all things send Jason in to tell me that your gone, our relationship is over and that it was all just "a great ride"? How was that any better than what someone else could have done to me? Do you think that hurt any less? You may have well have taken a gun yourself and shot me in the heart.

Sonny~ (starts to cry) I know. What would you have done? I didn't want you to die? I had no other choice.

Brenda~ That's just it, Sonny. It wasn't your choice, you should have been honest with me and told me what was going on. You should have let me chose whether my life was more important with you or without you. I remember when we were in Florida I told you that it was my choice and I chose to stay with you. You gave me an out before the wedding when I had to chose between a life with you anywhere or a life without you I Port Charles and again I chose you. I always chose you.

Sonny~ And this time it could have killed you.

Brenda~ How is that different from any of the other times I chose you?

My life has been in danger from the very beginning but I still stayed, in fact I even came back for more when we weren't together.You see, Sonny I wanted you more than anything. All I ever wanted was to spend our lives together, no matter how short that may have been at least we would have been together.

Sonny~ That's all I ever wanted for us other than your safety.

Brenda~ Sonny, why didn't you just say goodbye? All you had to do was tell me what was going on and we could have played it off. You could have come back for me when it was safe.

Sonny~ Why should I make you put your life on hold for me?

Brenda~ Because, I loved you and I thought you loved me.

Sonny~ I do.

Brenda~ Then I don't understand how you could be so cruel.

Sonny~ It was the only way.

Brenda~ No, Sonny there was another way we could have taken our chances together. You said that there was a contract out on your life, right? Did it magically disappear? Your still alive so why couldn't we have done it together?

Sonny~ I don't know.

Brenda~ I know why, you didn't have faith in me, you didn't have faith in us.

Sonny~ I do.

Brenda~ It's a bit late now. Had I not come here would you ever have told me the truth?

Sonny~ No.

Brenda~ You see, no faith.

Sonny~ Brenda, I'm not sure what I can say that would make you understand that I do love you and want to spend my life with you.

Brenda~ That's all I want.

Sonny~ Want?

Brenda~ Yeah, Sonny If you haven't noticed by now You're not the easiest person in the world to get over.

Sonny~ Neither are you. Brenda?

Brenda~ Yeah.

Sonny~ Will you go for a walk with me on the beach? Can we talk for a little while?

Brenda~ Yeah.

As Brenda and Sonny walked down the beach and talked they were able to get past their fears and found hopes in a future together. After Brenda finished shooting the photo shoot she told everyone she was going to stay in Peurto Rico for a little while. A few weeks later Brenda & Sonny were married at the orphanage. Then in order to stay together Brenda & Sonny left Peurto Rico and moved into the house on the farm he had taken her to. While Sonny was away the house had been renovated to match the one he and Brenda had desrcibed. About 10 months after leaving Peurto Rico and the orphanage Sonny called Sister Theresa and told her that he and Brenda had just been blessed with their first child...an 8 lb. 9 oz. baby boy, Michael Cates Corinthos. Their new life has begun.

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