Waiting To Exhale...S&B

By Chris


Part I

Brenda is on the phone with Lucy when another call beeps in..(they DO have call waiting in PC, right?)

B: Ooops, Lucy..gotta go..got another call..

L: Okay, but Brenda! Remember 6am tomorrow. Don't stay up too late with that delicious little hubby of yours!

B: Byyye Lucy (grinning)..

Brenda clicks over to the other line...

B: Hellllo? (cheerful)

There is silence for a moment..then a sobbing Sonny answers..

S: Br..enda? (Sonny tries to stifle his tears)

B: Sonny! What? What! (she is scared at this point)

S: Can you meet me at my penthouse? It's nothin, I just needed to talk to a friend.

Brenda hesitates..she cannot continue these private, secret meetings...(evil grin)
B: Sonny, can't we just discuss whatever is bothering you on the phone?

S: Yeah, right..uh, listen..never mind..its not fair of me to ask you to do that...

Brenda interrupts him..

B: Sonny, I'm on my way.

S: Are ya sure? I don't want to cause any problems for you and your new husband.

B: I'm on my way.

Brenda hangs up and scribbles a quick note to Jax:

Jax,
Gone to see Robin. Will be back soon.
Brenda


Brenda stops in front of Sonny's door and looks up...is she doing wrong? How long can she keep up this charade? She needs Sonny in a place so deep that she knows she cannot deny either of them of her friendship..at least.

She knocks...

Sonny answers the door...looks at her with the *Sonny look*..tears well up in his eyes...


Part II:

The two stare at one another for a moment...Brenda sees the tears in his eyes and fights her instinct to hold him.

S: (wiping his eyes)..Come on in.

Brenda enters the penthouse, never taking her eyes off of Sonny. She is worried.

B: Sonny, is it Lily..are you thinking of her?

She sits on the sofa.

S: (Silent for a moment)...Brenda..I cannot keep pushing away the people who care about me, my friends...you are my friend, right?

B: Sonny..I..

S: Brenda, just let me get this out, okay?

Nodding, brenda stands to face him.

S: Ya know, today I went to the hospital to see Luke and laura..and I ran into Simone. I, uh, asked her if maybe I could, by some slim chance, get tested to see if I might be able to help them out...I know, it was a dumb idea..I'm not related to them...I just..

Sonny's lip starts to tremble..Brenda's eyes widen..

S: Brenda, she immediately asked me if I've been tested for HIV, had blood transfusions..

B: Sonny, hey..(she puts her hand on his chin, lifting it up)..Lesley Lu's condition..it's serious, they have to be really careful..

S: No, that's not it Brenda..I know they have to be careful, but I look at my life..(Looks at her with a serious stare)..

B: (tears in her eyes)..I am not gonna let you beat yourself up because you couldn't be a donor for Luke's little girl..

S: She wouldn't even bother testing me Brenda..

B: I know who you are Sonny...Luke and Laura, they know who you are..what you are is a beautiful and caring man..

S: (Looks at her with the *look*)..Brenda ..can I just touch you? Just hold your hand?


Part III

Brenda's eyes fill with tears.

B: No..Sonny...you cannot ask me to do this..

S: (Growing cold and distant)..You're right..hey, I am in the wrong here. I told you I needed a friend and instead I was looking for..(rubbing his fingers thru his hair)..I just wanted to talk. I appreciate you coming over..You are a good friend Brenda..saved me again..

B: Sonny, you never needed me to save you, and you don't need me now.

Sonny has turned and his back is facing her..She stands there in silence, waiting for a reply.

B: Sonny?

Sonny's back still to her, brenda turns toward the door...What she doesn't see are the tears that have rolled down Sonny's face. He isn't feeling sorry for himself..just remembering....Brenda turns the knob, about to leave..

S: I remember...

Brenda turns around, her own face streaked with tears..

B: (barely able to speak)..You remember what?

S: I remember the night you saved my life..(he turns around to face the woman he loves so much..)..I remember how you took care of me the night I was shot. The, uh..way you held me in your arms trying to (kinda smiles) keep me conscious. I remember waking up knowing that your blood was running in my veins...like a virus.

B: (very softly, almost a whisper) I remember that too...even then I knew..

S: Knew what?

Brenda begins to cry.

B: Oh, baby...I remember us too..

She runs to him..he holds her tightly..then, as he lifts her chin to kiss her..she whispers in his ear..

B: Tonight..now..all I want is you with me..


Part IV

Sonny looks into her eyes, into her soul..

S: Brenda, (he looks very serious), I love you (his lips trembling)..My G*d, I need you..but if you stay the night with me, I want to wake up with you in my arms..no deceit..no broken promises..not now, not ever again...

Brenda is rushed back into reality..she is a married woman, married to a man that loves her, won't hurt her..

B: I need to go to him..I have to be honest with Jax..G*d, can you understand that? You of all people..

S: (looking disappointed and relieved at once)..You go..do what you have to do..but I will be here Brenda..no more running..

B: Running? From me?

S: From what we are...destiny..the only thing that matters to me...I won't run anymore.

B: Sonny, if you mean that..NO! You are right...no more running, no more DOUBTING..no more denial..(big smile)..Sonny, I love you.

S: (Takes her face in his hands and kisses her passionately)..I love you, baby..come home soon..

B: Home...I like that..(she smiles..hiding her fear of what she must now do)

He kisses her once more..touches her face..

S; I'll be waiting..

B: I know..

She turns to leave, looking back again...her stomach fluttering, her heart racing..she walks out the door..


Recap: In Part IV, Sonny has told Brenda that he wants to start anew...with no more deceit..no more broken promises..he wants Bren to come home..Brenda must now tell Jax..


Part V

S: I'll be waiting.

B: I know.

She turns to leave..her stomach fluttering..her heart racing..she walks out the door..

Shutting the door to the penthouse behind her, Brenda pauses..she feels renewed, her need for Sonny recharged..but what about Jax?

Why does life have to be so cruel? Why now?

Back inside the penthouse, Sonny walks over to the portrait of his former wife...

S: lily....

He takes the portrait down, looks at it once more, and walks up the stairs (passing the plant:))...and puts the painting away...she is gone.

Meanwhile....

Brenda arrives at the penthouse she shares with Jax..still trembling from her realization that she cannot continue lying to herself about where she belongs.

B: Jax? I'm home..

She looks around the penthouse for signs that Jax has been home. Her note was gone. He was here..but where is he now?

Brenda goes to the window...looking out over Port Charles.

B: (thinking out loud)...Great Brenda..just great...

Her mind flashes back..the first moment she met Sonny...the first time he kissed her...His eyes were so deep, like they were eternal, especially when they were looking at her.She loved his eyes...his lips..every part of him...the way he took her into his arms tonight was all she needed to know...she remembered the first time.....

J: Brender?

Brenda, shocked by the sudden voice..turns to look at Jax. She hadn't even realized it had grown dark..

J: Why are ya standing here in the dark, Luv?

Brenda fakes a smile..

B: I guess I didn't realize..

J: Where were you?

B: What?...

J: Just now...where were you? (taking her in his arms)..thinking of me I hope..

Brenda gently breaks away from his arms..

B: (Nonchalantly) Can we turn on some lights in here?

Any diversion will do, she thought....but no way am I making love to him tonight..I'm about to break his heart....


PART VI

J: (trying to hold her again)...Why d'we need a light ..that beautiful smile of yours could light up any room. B: (forcing a smile)..Jax..I don't really feel well right now..maybe later...NO..not later, Jax..listen..

J: It's your visit this afternoon that's got you blue, isn't it?

B: My WHAT? (oh no..he already knows..)

J: Your visit, with Robin...the note? ....I got your note earlier..Must be hard to be so disgustingly happy when you know someone so close to you is hurting...

B: Yeah..(turning away from him, facing the window again)

Jax puts his arms around her..nuzzling his chin in her neck..

J: Tell ya what..I have to fly to Alasker tonight, and I was thinking you and Mum could bond while I take care of some business..(smilin)..I know Mum would love to see you..

B: (snapping)..Didn't I just say I didn't feel well? (she immediately feels overwhelmed with guilt)..Jax, I am so sorry..(sigh)..I think what I need is sleep..or maybe to just be lazy for a while..

J: Listen, if that's what the lady needs..that is precisely what the lady shall get..Can I just tuck you in before I go??? Or should I stay?

B: No..no, you go..I am really being a downer right now..tell Jane I said hello..K?

J: Will do..(kisses her forehead)..Brender..I love you..(looks at her really serious..)..I'll be back tomorrow before lunch...Miss me?

B:(trying to seem sincere..)..Of course I will..(she smiles, kisses him..)

J: G'night Luv...

B: Goodnight..and I'll be FINE..just go..(smile)..

Jax backs up all the way to the door, never taking his eyes off of her...

Brenda waves..Jax shuts the door..Brenda returns to the window..then looks at the phone..

B: (to herself)...I don't want to be alone tonight...


PART VII

The room bagan to feel hotter and hotter...Brenda's memories flooding her mind~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~flashback~~

S: Tomorrow...we'll still be who we are except without the lonliness..

S: Why would you want to settle for a spark when you could set the whole world on fire?

~~~~~~~~

B: I am gonna walk over to that phone...all I have to do is pick it up...DIAL the number...I didn't tell Jax...

~~flashback~~

B: No more excuses Sonny...

B: We are a force of nature...

~~~~~

Brenda's eyes widen..

B: No more ....no more excuses..I won't deny us this any longer...

She dials the number..it rings...

S: Yeah..Corinthos..

B: Hi Honeee (yall know how she says honey)..I can't stop thinking about you..about us..(smiles)

S; (grinning..but nervous)..Me too..G*d, is this real? (he closes his eyes..)

B: It is so real...WE are so real..and I 've been so stupid..

S: Let's just say we've both made some mistakes...listen, uh.....are you comin back?..Or am i gonna have to come get you? (his smile is luminous!..he is so happy..)

B: I can come there...but I need to tell you ..

S: Yeah..I wasn't gonna ..ya know..bring it up until you were ready..what did he say?

B: Well..he kinda doesn't know..he left town..BUT SONNY!..no, no..no, before you say a word, listen to me, okay?

Sonny hangs his head, but answers calmly..knowing he has no right to judge her in this area...

S: Hey..I'm listenin..

B: Sonny...I'm coming over and we are gonna discuss this..(changing her tone to Brenda's *innocent* voice..)...but I don't want to talk long..

Sonny rubs his hand through his hair nervously..the anticipation is eating him alive..

S: You want me to come get you..or..you comin over here?

B: I am so there..in like..20 minutes..Okay?

S: I'll see you then..

B: Okay...and SONNY?..I love you baby...

S: i love you too...I'm finally going to get the chance to show you....

Brenda hangs up the phone...she trembles like a schoolgirl, but stands proud, like a woman..

She looks around the penthouse..catches a glimpse of the little ship on the mantle..

B: Jax..(she whispers)...one day I hope you will understand..this is all I DO understand..all that I know...

She closes the penthouse door behind her very softly, as if not to wake Jax...but he's not there to wake..or to stop her...


PART VIII

The drive to Sonny's was long..Jax's words of promise in her head..

~~flashback~~

J: I am as sure as the rising sun..

~~~~

B: (outloud)..What am I doing???//I am risking losing this guy who is head over heels in love with me...but Sonny loves me..(she smiles)..and I love him..

Brenda begins thinking back to she and Sonny's relationship....yes, her had hurt her...the secrets were too much to handle..she had hurt him..the wire...

~~flashback~~ S: Let's talk about the hard stuff...truth and trust..I have trusted you more..(Sonny's lip trembles)..than any other woman in my life..I lo...I love you...and the hardest truth of all is that I thought you loved me too..

B: (looking at him adoringly..forgetting for that moment that she is wearing a wire)....I do...

S: Then why...are we doing this?????

He rises to come toward her and his sudden movement startles Brenda...she nervously drops the glass of Brandy.. Sonny kisses her hard...she kisses him back..it will be the last...Sonny grabs the wire from her jacket...she gasps..She will never forget the look in his eyes...

~~~~~ Brenda continues to drive..her face now streaked with tears of regret..guilt...but she tells herself that Sonny is so different now..SHE is different now....her heart is beating so fast..suddenly she is afraid..she pulls the car over to the side of the road and steps out...realizing that she is at the park, Brenda walks over to the bridge....

B: (looking up at the stars...she whispers)..Stone...

She begins to cry with her face in her hands..her body shaking...the night is quiet...and warm..why is she suddenly so cold?......On her neck she feels a cool draft....

She calms.

Stone: Brenda......

B: (smiling calmly, eyes closed)...You're here aren't you?

****try to imagine the music GH played when Stone's ghost first went to Brenda after his death..and when his memory stopped Robin from making love with Jason...it gives me chills*****

Stone: Don't be afraid of this Brenda....(touching her cheek)..Sonny needs you now, more than ever..I know you need him, too.

B: Stone..I miss you..(she feels so calm...so free..)

Stone: Go to him...it's right.

B: But Stone, I...

He was gone. She looked up at they sky again...

B: Thank you..( a tear rolls down her cheek..)..thank you..

She stood alone, but still feeling Stone's presence..he looked so alive..so beautiful..so wise..With his words in her heart, she got back in the car..

B: I am doing the right thing...

She started the car and began to drive..to Sonny's.......The first night, of the rest of her life....


Recap: Brenda stopped at the park on her way to Sonny's....her mind clouded with bad memories of the past..she is unsure of whether or not she should be going....at the Bridge, Stone visits Brenda and reassures her..it is right.

Part IX:

She stood alone..but still feeling Stone's presence..he looked so alive...so beautiful..so..wise.. With Stone's words in her heart, she got back in the car..

B: I am doing the right thing... She started the car and began to drive to Sonny's..the first night..of the rest of her life...

She stood in front of Sonny's door..her heart still beating, her eyes still misty..she knocked....
When there was no answer, she turned the doorknob, but the door was merely closed to..she pushed it open..

The room was lit by what seemed to be a thousand candles..she smiled, knowing it was all for her.. Walking deeper into the room, she saw Sonny standing at the window...his back was to her and his gaze fixed on the sky.. She walks up behind him, slipping her arms through his and laying her head against his back...

S: Hi.....(he turns to face her..)

B: (Brenda's face lights up and her smile radiant)..Hi yourself..

S: I thought you'd never get here...feels like I've been staring out that window forever.

B: I want to tell you something..and I don't want you to think I'm crazy....

S: (stroking her hair) You can tell me whatever you want..I don't judge you anymore...

B: (her eyes fill w/tears)..I stopped at the park..on my way, just to think...and I was just standing there and all of a sudden it got really cold.. I was crying, thinking about old times..the ones we don't want to remember..and then there was just.....

S: Just what?

B: Calm....like every fear..I ever had..it was gone..just calm, and then ...Sonny, this is gonna sound really weird...Stone...

Sonny closes his eyes and pulls her close...

B: Stone was there...Sonny, it was like he was this beautiful angel sent to me..to calm me..to give me peace..

Sonny has tears in his own eyes now..one trickles down his cheek..he pulls he rso tightly to him..

S: He is Brenda.....an angel.....(tilts her head to look into his eyes) ..and you're not crazy...

B: We have wasted so much time, Sonny...I don't want to do that...

S: Shhhhh....

The two hold each other, both afraid to ever let go again...

S: Whenever you are..this close to me...and sometimes when you're not, there's this pressure...in a place so deep, I thought no one would ever find it...and I know..that I could feel that way for the rest of my life..

B: Oh, Sonny....(she reaches up to kiss him..)

They kiss for what seems like eternity...and they both know it is time...

Sonny looks into her eyes and knows that from that moment on..they will need no words...he leads her to the stairs...Brenda takes his other hand...Sonny stops..Lily's face flashes..

~~flashback~~~

S: This is your home..you don't have to apologize for anything...

L: It's OUR home...

~~

Her words seem to echo through the room...

B: Sonny..come here Baby..what's wrong?

S: Brenda..I can't do this...

NEXT TIME: How will Sonny be able to overcome his feeling of guilt for coming so close to making love to Brenda in her bed?


Recap: After seeing Stone's ghost in the park, Brenda goes to Sonny's penthouse. In the candle-lit penthouse, Brenda finds Sonny gazing out his window...she goes to him, embraces him......After sharing her Stone experience with Sonny, the two kiss passionately and begin to head upstairs to make love.....Sonny is struck with flashes of Lily and her pride in the "home" they had made...he hesitates as Brenda tries to lead him up the stairs......he tells her he cannot go through with it....

PART X:

S: Brenda..I can't do this.....

Brenda stands before him in disbelief..she is crushed....

B: It's Lily....(looking at the floor, shaking her head)...Ya know, I cannot believe I have done this to myself again..

S: Wait, I don't...done what to yourself? Brenda....(putting his hands on her arms)...Brenda I want nothing, okay?,..NOTHING more than to be with you right now, but I wasn't prepared, ya know, to feel so weird about it happening here.

Sonny steps away from her, walking to the middle of the room...

S: (he throws his arms in the air)..This place..it hurts to be here...the memories are too much. (he looks around the penthouse)..the GUILT is too much...

B: (Softly...)..I thought we were working through that.

S: We are..baby, we are.

Brenda walks over to him...strokes his face with her hand.

B: I know we can do this, Sonny. Hey...ya know what? Let's go...

S: (looking confused) Go where?

B: I don't care...anywhere....the Port Charles Hotel..who cares.

S: I gotta better idea..let's go away...to wherever you want.

B: Sonny, I can't.....Jax will be home tomorrow, I have to be home to tell him..

S: (walking up to her..standing close)...Is it over, with you and Jax?

B: Sonny, I really care about him....he has been so good to me...but of course its over...I could never pass up another opportunity to be with you...

Sonny kisses her softly...down her neck, her shoulders.....then Brenda kisses him back...fiercely...passionately.

B: Port Charles Hotel?

S: We're gone.

B: (throwing her head back) Yes! I am so happy right now...I will pack some stuff and meet you there, okay?

S: Okay, sweetheart...I have some calls to make anyway.

Sonny kisses her once more, moaning as he draws away.

S: I will see you there.

Brenda walks away..Sonny watching her, shaking his head....

S: You are...so beautiful.

B: You make me beautiful....

. Once she is gone, Sonny glances at his watch...only 8pm......he picks up his little black book........picks up the phone...

S: Yeah...its Sonny Corinthos..I know its not exactly business hours but I was wondering if we could meet tomorrow for lunch.......Yeah..that sounds good.....Well, let's just say I need something new....Yeah..yeah, thanks...

Sonny hangs up, grabs his keys from the desk.....looks around the dark penthouse....by this time tomorrow night, it will be empty.....emptier than it already was.....


NEXT TIME: Sonny has something special waiting for Brenda at the hotel....


Waiting to Exhale: S&B

Recap: Sonny explains to Brenda why he cannot make love to her in the penthouse. After they share a passionate kiss, Brenda gets Sonny to agree to a night in neutral territory....the PC Hotel. With Bren on her way to pack a few things, Sonny has placed a mysterious phone call and made it clear that he needs something new......

**Part XI**

Sonny hangs up, grabs his keys from the desk....looks around the dark penthouse...by this time tomorrow night, it will be empty....emptier than it already was......

Later.... Sonny approaches the desk clerk....

S: (keeping his voice down)...Has a Mrs. Brenda Barr...Brenda Jacks, checked in yet?

C(clerk): No Mr. Corinthos, I don't show a Mrs. Jacks registered for tonight...shall I make arrangements for you?

S: That would be great.....and I will need a few things prepared for my guest....

Brenda walks into the lobby searching for Sonny......

B: okaaaay Sonny...where are you?

A man walks from behind the desk..

C: Mrs. Jacks?

B: Yes?

C: Mr. Corinthos has asked me to show you to your suite....right this way...

B: Wait...how did you know who I was?

C: Well, Mrs. Jacks...

B: Ms. Barrett..please.

C: Ms. Barrett...excuse me for saying this, but only a woman as beautiful as you could fit the description I was given by Mr. Corinthos....

Brenda smiles.....

B:(taking a deep breath)..Okay, I'm ready....

C: Yes, ma'am, of course..right this way...

Brenda's stomach fluttered as she stepped into the elevator...her heart felt as though it would pound out of her chest....it seemed as if a million years had gone by since she felt Sonny's touch....and yet it seemed like yesterday...old feelings resurfaced....her desperate desire to please him.....now she was no longer a girl, but a woman.....now she knew she could....

C: Ms. Barrett....this is your floor...

B: (snapping out of her daze..) ..Oh (laughing)..I'm sorry...

C: That's quite alright ma'am....love often does that...

Brenda smiles.....

C: Here it is ma'am...I have been instructed to tell you to use this key...and have a lovely evening, ma'am...

B: Thank you so much.....

Brenda stands at the doorway..watching the doors of the elevator close....All that stands between her and Sonny now is this door...this key....She slowly turns the key and walks into the room...

Again she walks into a candle-lit room...she smiled at the thought that Sonny remembered how she loved making love by candle-light.

The room was beautiful.......across the bed a beautiful black silk gown.... Brenda put her hands over eyes...smiling...

B:(whispering) I can't believe this is happening...

Placing her bag beside the door, she walked to the bed..touching the soft gown....assuming that she was meant to put it on, Brenda undressed and slipped it on....of all the wonderful things she owned, somehow this felt different...never before had she felt so completely beautiful.....

His hands reached around her waist, his breath on her neck........she closed her eyes and turned to face him........

S: I have been dreaming of this for so long.......

B: It's real baby....I can't believe its real.... For a moment they stood there....no words....no kiss...only staring.........the euphoria of their togetherness....

She led him to the bed.......

Brenda's eyes meeting Sonny's he spoke softly...

S: Are you sure?

B: I have never been so sure of anything in my life.......

For hours they made love.....finally whole again...after all that time.....


NEXT TIME: Both Brenda and Sonny wake to a new day to face decisions that will affect their lives...together.........forever.

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