A Corinthos Family Christmas by Clarissa

Brenda groaned as she felt Sonny shaking her awake.
"Brenda, sweetheart, it's Christmas morning, it's time to get up."
Brenda groaned and put her pillow over her head.
"No, not now, five more minutes."
Sonny rolls his eyes and laughs,
"No not five more minutes now!"
Brenda doesn't move and Sonny begins to shake her.
"Brenda Veronica Corinthos, you have got to be the laziest woman I've ever been with."
Brenda removes the pillow from over her face and sits up. She glares at Sonny and hurls the pillow at him.
"Is that so Mr. Corinthos? I thought that honor went to Carly? Well I guess you better hope you recieve a vibrator for Christmas because after that comment, don't expect to make love to me ever again."
Sonny bursts out laughing,
"Whatever sweetheart, you said that while you were giving birth to Stone. Don't expect me to ever fall for that one again."
Brenda rolls her eyes and jumps up off of the bed. She stands in his face and places her hands on her hips.
"Oh but this time I mean it, you are never going to touch me again Michael Corinthos Jr. Not after you tell me I'm worse than Carly!"
Sonny watches as she storms out of the room and goes downstairs. He follows her.
"Sweetheart, I didn't say you were worse than Carly, I said you are lazier than Carly. Nobody can be worse than Carly. She betrayed me more than you ever could have."
Brenda's expression doesn't soften,
"You got that right and don't you forget it! What I wanna know is what happened to you after I was gone? All the sudden you forgot how to use a condom. What...when you thought I died your brain checked out on you too? Damn it Sonny, as many men as that woman slept with what were you thinking?"
Brenda doesn't wait for an answer, instead she walks into the kitchen. Sonny is right behind her.
"Where do you think you're going? This is my kitchen, I don't need you destroying everything in here."
Brenda bends down as she opens the cabinets, banging around all his precious pots and pans.
"Brenda! Watch it, those are my babies!" Sonny walks over to her and grabs her by the arm, pulling her up and closing his cabinet doors.
"We had a deal the day we got married, you were not to go near my kitchen in exchange for more closet space. Remember?"
Brenda throws her head back and laughs sarcastically.
"Yeah but you ruined that deal when you didn't put out the closet space for me. So the way I see it is, we are even Mr. Corinthos."
Sonny lets go of Brenda's arms and places his hands on his hips. A mocking look appears on his handsome face.
"What do you mean I didn't put out the closet space? I gave you half of mine, the linen closet and some of Stone's closet, how many more do you need? A hundred?"
Brenda glares at him and storms out of the kitchen, but not before turning back around to face him.
"I wish you wouldn't make fun of me, you always make fun of me, why?!"
Sonny is about to respond when the doorbell rings. He sighs with relief and mumbles under his breath,
"Saved by the bell."
Lois Cerullo walks into the kitchen and heads straight for Sonny.
"No Corinthos that doesn't come on until four. Now give me a hug!"
Sonny grimaces as Lois squeezes him tightly.
"You are much too skinny, Bren have you been doing the cooking?"
Brenda rolls her eyes.
"Yeah it's great to see you too Lo, haven't you ever heard of waiting for somebody to open the door before you enter? Wait don't answer that, it's a wonder that you didn't catch Sonny and I having sex at least once when we were together the first time around."
Lois laughs,
"Oh Bren...I walked in on Sonny and you having sex before. You all had sex in the bathroom at my wedding reception, I walked in and quickly snuck out. Another time was in Sonny's house, it was Christmas Day of 1994, you all were going at it full force on the floor of Sonny's apartment. I always wondered how you all didn't concieve a baby that day with the way you were all over each other."
Brenda shakes her head and eyes Sonny.
"Well Lo, that's because back then Sonny believed in something called a condom."
Sonny eyes Brenda back.
"I didn't hear you complaining last night when you were screaming my name as I came inside of you."
Sonny and Brenda begin to argue as somebody clears their throats and interrupts them.
"Oh my god...dear don't talk that way around an old man like me. I don't wanna hear about your sex romps with this criminal!"
Brenda looks up and smiles as she sees Edward.
"Hey Edward. Come in, sit down. Don't mind us, we are just arguing over closet space, sex, and a bunch of other stuff. In fact you can join in if you'd like."
Lois walks over to Edward and gives him a big hug.
"Yep I was just telling Corinthos and Brenda here, that I walked in on them having sex many times."
Edward nods his head. He looks over at Brenda.
"Dear did I ever tell you that I went for a walk in the rose garden one morning and I caught you and this hoodlum you call a husband having sex on the ground? It was not a pleasant sight, because all I could see was his ass and I couldn't see any of you, except for your spread apart legs. You have such beautiful legs my dear."
Brenda is about to respond to Edward when they hear Lila's voice pipe up.
"Edward, you will not talk that way in the presence of ladies. My dears I'm sorry for my husbands disgusting talk."
Edward rolls his eyes at Lila.
"So where's the other hoodlum?"
Lila throws Edward and evil look, "That hoodlum happens to be our grandson!"
Edward nods his head.
"I know that Lila, and that's unfortunate."
Lila throws him yet another evil glance.
"Edward Quartermaine, either you apologize or you are sleeping on the couch tonight!"
Edward puts his head down in despair.
"Yes dear, I'm sorry Brenda, Lois, Lila. But as far as the king hoodlum here, I'm not sorry."
Sonny smiles at Edward and says very sarcastically, as he walks over to him and pats him on the back.
"Well thank you so much for your nice apology. I'll keep it close by my heart."
Edward glares at him.
"Don't push your luck Corinthos, you're lucky I even showed up! The only reason I'm here is because your wife happens to be drop dead gorgeous."
Brenda smiles at Edward and rushes over to hug him.
"Aww thank you Edward, you can teach Sonny a few lessons when it comes to women."
Sonny places his hand on his hips and glares at Brenda.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'll have you know babe, I'm the king of getting a woman to be mine!"
Brenda nods her head.
"I better be the only woman you are making yours."
Sonny grins as he thinks of something that he knows will get to Brenda.
"Sweetheart, I forgot to tell you, Lois and I have been having an affair now for a year. We've been going at it every night, while you are asleep.The guest room knows us extremely well. Ain't that right Cerullo?" He winks at Lois, trying to get her to play along. Lois smiles and nods her head in agreement.
"Yeah we were waiting for the perfect moment to tell you. Sonny wants a divorce and we are having a baby."
Brenda glares at them.
"I don't think you two are funny. Is this some kind of sick joke?You know what Lois you can have him! After he cooks us dinner that is!"
Sonny cannot believe that Brenda is believing a word of this. He takes her aside.
"Sweetheart, I was just kidding. The only person I'm in bed with at anytime is you."
Brenda sees that he is being sincere and she smiles at him, seeing that now is the perfect time to get back at him.
"Now, now don't get all mushy on me, because I have something to tell you. Jason and I are having sex in his penthouse every day. In fact Stone may be his."
"What the hell do you mean Stone may be Jasons?!" Screamed Sonny. A voice pipes up behind them.
"That's a good question, what do you mean Stone could be mine? Not unless you can get pregnant by screaming at each other he isn't!"
Sonny places his hands on his hips as Brenda begins to laugh hysterically.
"Got you! I would have sex with Edward or even AJ before I'd sleep with Jason."
Edward pipes up at that.
"Hey! There is no need for insults my dear! I hope you'd have sex with me before AJ. I would treat you so much better my dear. AJ would stalk you, but me, I'd make love to you night and day and I wouldn't stop."
Sonny looks at Edward and glares at him.
"Hey watch it old man, that happens to be MY wife you are talking to like that. The only man that will be making love to her night and day will be me, so back off now! Before I make you regret it!"
Edward grins and stands up.
"You're on Corinthos, lets take this outside!"
Lila begins to speak.
"Edward Quartermaine, you sit down this instant! One more outburst and you not only will be sleeping on the couch, but you won't be getting anything from me for a week!"
Everybody begins to argue and Brenda rushes upstairs to get ready, without anybody even noticing that she has left the room. She creeps in to check on Stone before she heads downstairs. She grins as she hears Sonny and Mike arguing in the kitchen. She walks into the kitchen and laughs to herself as she listens to what they are arguing over.
"Mike, go bug Edward, leave me the hell alone!"
"Sonny, I'm telling you, you put too much sage into that dressing. Let me do the cooking, I'm a much better cook than you."
Sonny glares at Mike.
"You wish old man, shoo...get out of my kitchen, go!"
Mike shakes his head in disgust.
"Do whatever you want Son, I'll tell you what, I'll let Brenda be my replacement in the kitchen."
Sonny looks at Brenda.
"No! Alright Mike, you can stay, but I'm warning you, keep your mouth shut!"
Mike begins to laugh.
"I thought that would change your mind. After all, I remember the first time Brenda cooked me dinner. I never believed anybody could screw up chicken in dumplings, but she burned the chicken and the dumplings. She even burned the dessert."
Sonny laughs at Mike's statement.
"I remember the first time she made me breakfast, the toast was like an incinerator and the eggs were hard and too done. I have never tasted worse coffee ever!"
Brenda walks over to them and glares at them.
"Excuse me? Both of you are lucky I don't take this whole damn bottle of wine and dump it over your heads!"
Mike and Sonny look up at Brenda and are startled to see her standing there. Sonny walks over to Brenda and takes her face in his hands.
"Eavesdropping again sweetheart? You know this and your constant yapping have a way of irritating me."
Brenda laughs sarcastically.
"Aww...I thought you said nobodies mouth compares to mine?"
Sonny grins hugely,
"That's when your mouth is on a certain part of my anatomy sweetheart."
Brenda swats Sonny on his arm.
"Ugh, that is disgusting!"
Sonny and Mike laugh at Brenda's reaction to Sonny's comment.
"You didn't think it was so disgusting last night. Mike I'm telling you, the things she can do with her tongue."
Brenda glares at him and rolls her eyes.
"Oh yeah well lets see if my tongue gives you any action tonight. Just for that you can sleep in the guest room!"
Sonny watches as Brenda storms into the living room. She sits down on the couch next to Lois and engages in chit chat with the guests, while Sonny and Mike continue to argue over the kitchen. Sonny finally gives in, after much argument with Mike and leaves the kitchen, so that he could make up with Brenda. At about noon they are sitting at the table,waiting for Mike to bring the food to the table. Sonny walks into the kitchen, wanting to help Mike bring in the food. He gasps when he sees the turkey.
"Mike, what the hell did you do to my beautiful bird? It's ruined!"
Edward and Lila laugh,
"What's your problem Corinthos? Just order a pizza, that's what we do."
Sonny glares at Edward and shakes his head.
"No way in hell, this is the Corinthos residence, not the Quartermaine's hell hole!"
Mike brings in the burned stuffing and rolls and the rest of the food, which was also ruined. Brenda bursts out laughing.
"I guess I"m not the worlds worst cook after all, looks like that honor goes to Mike."
Sonny glares at Brenda and grabs a piece of turkey, a roll stuffing, and the rest of the food. He takes one bite of the turkey and reaches for the phone. Brenda stares at him intently.
"What are you doing honey?"
"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm ordering a pizza."
Brenda begins to laugh hysterically.
"It looks like this Corinthos family christmas is turning into a Quartermaine one."
Sonny gives Brenda the eye as he orders the pizza. This was one Christmas he would never forget.

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